Reykjavik, Iceland To Host Annual Boat Show, Dec. 24-26

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At a gala, black-parka affair this coming Friday evening the Reykjavik Tourism Council plans to announce the launch of RIBS (Reykjavik International Boat Show). The intended dates for the inaugural event are Dec. 24-26 of this year.

“Basically we saw a gap in the market.” Says Johann Eisbuquet, marketing director for the fledgling show. “Those dates are actually the only three days left on the calendar that don’t have an international boat show occurring elsewhere in the world. Seriously, I counted. So, as an aspiring yacht hub with a desire to attract a global clientele, we here in Iceland really didn’t have a choice. Our mittens were tied. Yes, it overlaps with Christmas, and yes, it is dark all day at that time of year here, and yes, our port will be frozen solid. But the Vikings didn’t come here for a good time, they came here to get shit done, and that’s what we’re going to do.’

Somewhat surprisingly, early reaction from potential attendees has been warm. Brock Madison-Hudson, lead broker with Brock Madison-Hudson & Sons & Daughters, says he is greatly looking forward to attending the event.

“I already Airbnb out my house in Lauderdale on the rest of the year, so this will allow me to actually give up having a fixed address entirely. I can literally go from one show to the next without stopping. It’s like the movie ‘The Endless Summer’, except it never ends.”

On the subject of how many yachts they expect to see following the icebreaker into the harbour, the RIBS organizers are staying close-mouthed for the time being. In a press release regarding the show they explain that while they don’t wish to overhype the event, this past summer season did see them mark the first time they have had two large yachts in the port at once. “Of course that was in the middle of peak season, and this event will fall more towards off-peak, but we are confident that someone will attend. If not we will have the show regardless.” Explains Mr. Eisbuquet.

The profile of the event was immediately raised yesterday with a surprising endorsement from Hollywood A-lister Leonardo DiCaprio, who mentioned the upcoming RIBS show in an interview with ‘Goodbye’ magazine on the subject of his work against global warming.

“These guys are visionaries, and they’re going to look like geniuses in 50 years. By that time global warming will have made the Mediterranean-bordering nations into arid deserts that will be trucking in water for the 6 goats still living there. And with the rising sea levels due to our melting polar ice caps, Ft. Lauderdale will be a dive site. Mark my words, in 2064 FLIBS will be selling submarines, as reported by ‘U-Boat International’. Even though I made that up, that’s the reality. And that same climactic shift is going to turn Iceland into paradise.  It’s a foregone conclusion that this place is going to be a sought after destination for yachts and the rest of humanity trying to outrun the end-times. Those guys know what they’re doing over there. The Vikings knew too. I look forward to attending.”

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