10 Metaphors For Working On A Yacht

‘Searching’ by Jeremy Miranda

These metaphors were submitted by people we made up, but are real metaphors:

1) “To me yachting is an endless summer that is pretty fun except that it’s hot and it never ends.”
– Johnny Deckhand, said during a cigarette break, St. Maarten

2) “Working on a yacht is going fishing and catching a fish that you didn’t even know existed, and thinking it looks delicious. But then when you get it home and cook it, you realize its full of bones and is a lot of work to eat.”
– Chef Shane, mid provisions-loading, San Diego

3) “It’s winning the lottery and then having to give most of the winnings to tax except you don’t pay the tax and instead you spend it all on sunglasses and mixed drinks and hope that no one asks you for the tax. Metaphorically speaking.”
– Anonymous, location withheld

4) “For me, working on a yacht is finding out that the only way you can get into a really exclusive party is if you join the catering staff, but doing it anyway because the party is in a blimp and you heard Mick Jagger was going.”
– Stewardess in a crew agent’s waiting room, Antibes

5) “Go have intercourse with your own self.” (Edited for profanity, and possibly not a metaphor but we’re letting it through)
– A crew member fresh from getting the sack, La Ciotat

6) “It’s living in a really nice, fancy, expensive birdcage with lots of little baths and mirrors and seed cups and really up-to-date newspaper lining the bottom and everyone thinks its incredible and it would be, if you were a bird, and you didn’t have to live there.”
– Donny Deckhand, polishing the rail, Nassau

7) “I’m told it’s partying when all of your friends stayed home and studied, and then finding out the exam is cancelled the next day.”
– Eddie Dayworker, pressed up at the Corner Bar, Palma De Mallorca

8) “It’s missing your flight, and knowing your family was waiting for you at the other end.”
– Captain Morgan, watching the sunset in Dubai

9) “I think it’s planning to do one thing with your day, but instead you end up doing something totally different and all of your friends are like, ‘Hey man what happened to you?’ And you’re like, ‘I don’t even know, but it was crazy and I don’t think I’m coming home.’ ”
– Brucey Bosun, in line at the car rental, Antigua

10) “It’s trading your arm for a nice watch.”
– 2nd Officer Sam, mid-charter season

Feel free to send in your own metaphor for working on yachts in the comments section.

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