Yachting Translations: Vol. I

University of Missouri Archives

University of Missouri Archives

A must-have guide to understanding yachtspeak:

1. You hear: “Hey, do you want to go waterskiing after work?”
Spoken by: Captain
Means: “Hey, can you set up, break down and drive the tender for me on your off-time? Say yes.”

2. You hear: “Hey. Just wondering, did you get a laundry bag?”
Spoken by: Interior crew
Means: “Can you please use your fucking laundry bag instead of dumping your random shit on the floor every morning.”

3. You hear: “Thanks. I’ll be back around midnight.”
Spoken by: The owner while stepping off the tender onto the dock.
Means: “Thanks. I’ll be back whenever the hell I feel like.”

4. You hear: “Hey how’s your first day going? Good. That’s cool. Oh, I was just wondering, are you allergic to anything? Got any food preferences?”
Spoken by: Chef
Means: “Am I going to like you or hate you three times daily?”

5. You hear: “Don’t apologize, it’s not that late, I’m often up at 2:00 a.m. Of course I can find you a taxi in a tiny town where everyone went to sleep three hours ago. Sure, S-Class or better. No problemo.”
Spoken by: Shore Agent
Means: “Thank God you people only come here once a year.”

6. All of these spoken by the first mate regarding the weather forecast for a passage that evening:

A) You hear: “Should be pretty calm.”
Means: “Shit is going to fly, but you won’t be ready for it.”

B) You hear: “It’s going to be a little rough.”
Means: “You will cower in your bunk and pray for death.”

C) You hear: “It’s going to be pretty shitty out there.”
Means: “Run away. Run away.”

D) You hear: “Yeah. Nice. I think it’ll be nice. Have you seen my jeans?”
Means: “I had a late night and haven’t checked the weather yet.”

7.You hear: Blank stare
Spoken by: Engineer
Means: Maybe if I stare at you long enough you will grow some initiative and try a new light bulb before pestering me with this ridiculously menial task when I am in the middle of a generator rebuild. Not yet. Nope not yet either. Sigh. Ok. “Sure, I can check that for you.” Grit-teeth grin.

8. You hear: “We’re looking for a couple’s position.”
Spoken by: A couple
Means: “We are really trying to make this shit work and if you’d just help us with that you will not regret it promise.”

9. You hear: “Do you have any denatured prune juice?”
Spoken by: A guest
Means: “There is no such thing as denatured prune juice, but I am going to really enjoy watching you try to find some.”

Having trouble translating a yachtism? Send it on through and our team of interpreters will be happy to help.

One thought on “Yachting Translations: Vol. I

  1. Pingback: Yachting Translations Vol. II: Deep Cuts | The General Alarm

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