10 Life Hacks For Yacht Crew

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  1. Never clean up after yourself. That way you never have to clean up after yourself.
  2. If you’re an engineer; wear a look that says, ‘I eat people who ask me questions.’ That way most people won’t ask you questions. And those who do you can eat.
  3. Marry the Captain.
  4. Say you’re going provisioning and then never come back.
  5. If you’re the Captain always come in to work late and leave early. This will keep the crew on their toes as they’ll be surprised when you’re there.
  6. Stay on one boat for years and years and never progress so you can get your early-midlife crisis out of the way and move quickly on to your mid-mid-life crisis.
  7. Saw your tooth brush in half so you have more room in your cabin for cameras and sunglasses.
  8. Always mention previous boats you worked on in a favourable light as compared with the one you’re on now. This will piss people off.
  9. Get smashed early and often. This will make even the most mundane of tasks the next day a huge challenge.
  10. When you’ve had enough don’t move on to a new job or career, just stay on one boat and be bitter, it will save you an airfare.

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