Helpful Chief Mate Includes Hiding Places For Working Hungover In Familiarization Tour

Danger never rests. Neither do hangovers.

“And here on the left we have a linen closet that I’m pretty sure the captain doesn’t know exists,” says Jimmy Goodlife, chief mate on the M/Y It’s A Living, as he gestures expansively towards a false wall panel that pops open when pressed, revealing a personal reality-escape pod disguised as stacked bedding. “In an emergency, such as needing a two-hour nap one hour into the workday, simply move the contents of shelves three and four up to shelves one and two, climb in, curl up in the fetal position, and try not to snore.”

Newly joined stewardess Sarah Diamond takes this in with a mixture of fear that this is some form of trap, and genuine gratitude for such highly prized information.

“Is this a trap?” She asks, being from Australia and not one to hold back.

Jimmy looks surprised. “I beg your pardon. There are no traps on the familiarization tour. I take this very seriously.”

“Then why does your coffee smell like jäger?”


“Why are you wearing sunglasses inside?”

“I’m not.”

“You clearly are.”

“Lets move on. I still have to show you how to get onboard when you’re too intoxicated to enter the door code and how to make a toasty at three in the morning without the chef knowing you’ve been in the galley.”

Sarah trails behind Jimmy as he ricochets down a darkened corridor, protecting his ‘coffee’ like its a newborn baby with a strange German name. While initially undecided now she is sure: she’s going to like it around here.